COUSERA, SERA...Whatever will be, will be

Soooooooooo...I'm back.

Hardly the "newbie" - not quite the veteran..."seasoned" perhaps?

A friend of mine suggested I check out this learning space called "Coursera" and check out what they have to offer. Well I have and I am already BLOWN AWAY and completely excited by what there is to offer! So for the next few months my blog will be focused on that.

What a difference age makes - Teacher to Tutor

Switching from teaching teenagers to tutoring adults way older than even I am has certainly taught me some hard lessons!
1. They aren't fun. They don't have sincere smiles or give honest comments
2. They lie.  WAY more than you would think an adult would.
3. In the same way that teenagers don't take responsibility for their actions - adults don't as well.

I am not enjoying it. ...needless to say...

Awesome Ideas

As a teacher I forced to constantly and consistently reevaluate myself and come up with creative ways to interest my students in learning.  Ever so often I get some "awesome ideas" that make my teenagers scream in delight.

My years have taught me to never give up. Continue creating. My students only stand to benefit.

And we're back!

Stay tuned! Lots to update on my teaching adventure

Attachments

2013
Five years
Countless students
My Form class is on the verge of exam
On the edge of the cliff
Just about to jump
Leap out into life
Wow....5 years have passed since I began this teaching adventure
And you learn so much along the way
So much trial and error as well
So many mistakes
Assumptions
That don't help - they hurt/
\I am so attached to so many of my "children"
I worry about them
I feel joy at their successes
I will miss them
The imperfection
The honesty
The love
I guess in some ways we are tied to each other for always
We will always have that teacher-student bond
Always

Where Did 2012 Go? Academic Year 4 in Review

I am glancing back at the beginning of this blog. WOW.
So much has happened.
Things that I cannot even mention here.
But so much.

As the term has ended and 2012 is quietly making its way out - ushering in 2013 I find myself wanting. Teaching still provides joy - however now the various administrative frustrations has me yearning for change.

I am not even sure what the change is. But I plan on remaining focused until some movement occurs. I think about the sadness if/when I ever move on and leave my present school. My students will be very disappointed. Some will be angry. Some will beleive that I am in fact abandoning them. There will be guilt. There will be tears. But I must remember (paraphrasing a quote) that ALL changes, even the one most hoped for, has its melancholy. We must die to one life before we can transition into another. Indeed change is on the horizon.

So...here I am...planning purposefully. Praying. Waiting.

2013? Let's go!

I am Reflection.

I am at the doorsteps of 2011. End of Term 1 of the school year.

*insert BIG BIG BIGGGGG SMILE*

It has been a very long term.

An even longer semester of assignments, presentation and above all else - learning.

This term my personal experiences taught me alot about dealing with my students.

I have learnt more about group dynamics and group work than I ever care for.

Really. Too much. As I went through the process and sometimes emotional distress of group work and activity I understand even more clearly how my students feel when I expect them to work in groups for extended periods of time.

I have learnt how to care and love my students even more. Early in my teaching career I was very taken aback by the amount of attention students needed.

"Miss ah want"

"Miss ah need"

"Miss tell me"

"Miss give me"

"Missssssssssss!"

I could not teach until I have addressed their myriad issues ranging from homework to issues at home to issues with other students. I thought to myself, exasperated "Who am I really supposed to be in this job??? Dey mudder??? Steups."

As the years I have come to know that yes- in loco parentis

I am the mother that they do not have, the father they do not see, the listening ears that they do not experience. I am that for them.

I have learnt to embrace this aspect of my profession.

I find myself getting them Valentine's day presents, Christmas tokens, Children's Day....just because tokens.

It is strange but a good feeling.

Year 3. Let's Go.

My mantra for this term is:

"Every child has the ability to learn and I intend to build upon this positive assumption"

Sometimes I feel like I am doing my best and giving all that I have - but that can't be true.

As long as there is more to learn I must have more to give.

Like children they take and take and demand more and more.

Under their scrutiny we teach them the unspoken lessons through our actions.

Long ago and even today many said/say that "teaching is a vocation"

I have really come to embrace this since your calling and love of job is the only thing that caan keep you when the children of the 21st century display some "demonic" qualities.

I constantly ask myself "How can I be better?" "What can I do to make their learning easier?"

Sometimes the questions can torture and sometimes offer answers.

So on this, my 3rd teaching anniversary - I am once again faced with new challenges

Challenges that sometimes, if not for God's grace I would run away.

But I think about what my students face everyday

Broken lives, broken homes, physical abuse, emotional and sexual abuse.

Parents that give money and things, but not time and attention

Communities that seek their own and no one else's

Who will do for them?

I must give my all.

Who will beleive in them?

I must give my all.

I may be looking into the eyes of a criminal or a world changer - what makes the difference?

Tests. Tears. Assessment.

As a teacher the mantra goes "I teach therefore I test"...though sometimes I think it should be "I teach therefore I drink" lol

Every teacher one several occasions throughout the year tests. We create forms of assessment that we think suits the levels we taught at - yet sometimes you get complaints and even on rarer occasions...tears.

Last Friday I gave an exam that I felt sure my students would be able to think through and complete comfortably. We marked the exam right then and there in the classroom and it left the students unhappy and me literally horrified.

I pride myself in being a teacher that has my students best interest at heart. I only test what I teach and I gave adequate room during lessons for questions and a variety of examples. Yet for all so many of them failed the exam or barely passed that I could not help but question what went wrong during the teaching?

My feeling got even lower today as I saw one of the students this morning jst as I got in. I said, "Bee how you going love?"

"Miss I ok. Oh gosh Miss that test!"

"Don't worry I making sure to go through it in class on Wednesday. We will sort it out"

"Miss doh watch mih...I don't like to do bad"

"Don't worry we will fix dat."

The child was in tears. She didn't want me to look at her because she was so ashamed of her performance.

My heart dropped. I felt as if I had failed her. Sigh. I still am not sure how to fix it.

The joys of teaching come with alot of challenges.

Even after teaching the lessons, correcting the homework, answering questions during extra sessions...still. Tears can happen and you feel as if it had gone for naught.

New Year. 2008 to Present...

I find it a bit hard to take in the fact that it is almost my three year anniversary in teaching.

Many lives impacted...in fact I checked

Form 5, Form 6 x 3 = 165 students. Graduated. Moving forward.

I learned that as teachers we learn and take so much from our students that it is only a justified that we in return give them the best of our abilities.

SO 2011..here we are. Looking for new ways to do better and be better.

In Full Flight

Today my class graduated.

My first Form 4- Form 5 Biology class.

My first teaching experience class.

Not an inherited class.

My class.

As I saw them smiling in their seats I wondered whether I gave them everything they needed to go out and do well.

Did I give enough advice?

Enough guidance?

Sigh...I couldn't help but feel this sense of apprehension.

So innocent. So much they did not yet know.

Before the sadness could fully envelope me, I started receiving some "notes" and words of comfort

" i just wanted to say that you are a wonderful teacher and thanks for teaching me. its so great that you instilled very valuable information in me that i can use very wisely today. i hope you have alot of fun with the new upper sixes as you did with us."

"Thanks Miss"

"Miss you could add me on FB now! I graduate! Love you Miss!"

Well...you get the idea. So I hold on to the hope that their paths though not perfect, will be filled with experiences that allow them to learn and thrive...fly...

Sacrifice

Sometimes as a teacher, you have to be the "bad guy".

You have to hold your students accountable for their actions and call them to task on their shortcomings. Frankly, it sucks. Ultimately we know that the action is for "their own good" and will help them out "in the long run" - but sometimes the cliches appended to the actions do not make you feel any better.

This week I had to pull one of my students out of the football team. After missing several classes, not doing assignments, the unspoken rule perhaps at our school is, if you cannot balance the both, academia must prevail. It was even easier to do this when the coach said "well he doh really play". Still...after all was said and done - it sucked.

Another sucky thing was I had to call in my Form 5s for a lunch time session, because of all the Friday holidays in this term. They came - but complained. I couldn't understand why they couldn't see that the very sacrifice they were making I had to do the same. Sigh...I understand the term "teacher burnout" now, even though I am not experiencing it myself, because I can see how after years and years of sometimes forcing children to do things that benefit them can take its toll.

I hope and pray that I always have the stamina to sacrifice and give the extra that our children deserve. When I cannot...I will resign.

“We, the unwilling,led by the unknowing,are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much, for so long,with so little,we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.”

Smiles on Rainy Days.

This post is dedicated to my students that make me smile. Particularly my Form 5 Biology Class. It is one thing to love your job and what you do, to give and give and give...but sometimes when the cup runs a little low it can be difficult to find a refill.

Last Monday I went to class, drained, tired, sick and generally not in a good mood. I always try not to let my emotional state affect what I give to my students, but that day I was really running on "E" the tank was empty, and I had no choice but to deliver to my class of 41 students. I said to the first student attempting to frustrate me:

"Look! This is NOT a democracy. It is a dictatorship. I am Fidel. This is Cuba. I make the rules."

To which the child replied: "Miss we will do like animal farm and have ah revolution"

"Well until the uprising...sit down."

As the class progressed I knew that my students knew I was not too well - even without me telling them that. They used the chance to work diligently at the activity - to throw in a joke here and there - that had me in stitches! I left that class, still sick, but feeling SOOOOOO much better. I told them, "You all know that you are real special right?"

On my rainy day, those students were my sunshine and I don't think they will really ever know how much it meant to me to receive from them.

Results. Exams. Suicides. Regrets.

Well some of the students I teach received their exam results today.

As is always the case, some did well, some did not.

I am sad though, because I want them all to succeed so badly.

I wish I could be in the room with them as they sit the exam...but alas I cannot

I have to pray and hope that my teaching and their studying was enough to satisfy the unfair exams that do not truly test our students on what they have learnt, but rather the art of regurgitation....

I heard in a news report today also that a student after receiving her results committed suicide. Went to school. Collected results. Shared it with her parents. Went into her room. Later that night. Took a sheet and hung herself. I can only imagine how she felt, the deep disappointment that would push her to this point....I can only imagine how her parents now feel. The regret. What could they have said, or not said to avoid this situation from happening?

I insist that if there is teaching - there must be learning. Results must reflect hard work and persistence on the parts of the teachers and the students. I understand that we cannot hold our students hand all the time but surely something more can be done....

Turnover

Well I am approaching my 2nd anniversary. I feel as if so much more time has past than just these two years. I have come into contact with hundreds of students...so many lives that now have something to say about "Miss..."

Vacation is here and I miss school actually. Miss my passion. I think I am a workaholic. lol. Is it weird for a teacher to say that? I think so. I am looking forward to the new year. New faces. new challenges.

Till then.

Finally!

Wow...it's been such a long time since I've written!!

First things first. I have completed (and passed Thank You Jesus) my Postgraduate Diploma in Education. Who say BIGGGGGG Teacher!!!! Yeah me! I am very proud of this accomplishment and I DARE anyone to do this programme. lol. It was INTENSE. Worth it? Definitely.

What's next?
Applied to do my Masters in Education. I know...I am such a nerd. lol. However, I am looking unto the horizon - when I will need new challenges. And since I ain't got no kids yet, I figure its as good a time as any.

What's new?
My first Biology class that I had (Form 4, Form 5) is leaving! **tear tear...** I have learnt so much from them and I hope they can say the same thing. They were my testing ground. They allowed my such freedom to carry them on this two year journey. For this - I certainly thank them.

I am looking forward to teaching All boy classes - it should DEFINITELY be an adventure. Since the DipEd is done I am back on the grind. Will be back blogging. Learning, teaching and living.

Student and friend?

I have gotten pretty close to the students of my Form 5 class. I mean it is indeed a pleasure to know what they like, what they enjoy, what makes them upset - it pays to KNOW your student.

I have come to a strange point in the road. One of my students wants to add me as their FB friend. I created a "child friendly" account, that I gave them access to, but I have the REAL one under wraps basically. So one of my students from this very class asked to be my friend. Honestly I am unsure as to what to do. How much do you share with students? I use FB on many occasions to release stress and my various notes and statuses reflect that. Some things I do not necessarily want students to see. I think of it sometimes as a private space - separate and apart from work.

But is wanting that being hypocritical? Am I seeking to be more than one person at a time? Hmmmm...I think the schizophrenia is acting up again :/

I do love them. I do respect them. But ultimately I don't think that I want them to be a part of every aspect of my life. That might lead to madness. lol

2010 people! Let's go!

Teaching For Life

I thought today as I taught my Form 3 Biology class that students learn more about us and life skills than they sometimes do the subject.

Walk into class
"Miss, ah fine yuh looking very swanky for the 2010"
"Yuh fine?"
Class :"YES!"
"All for u darlings!"

lol You would be amazed to know just how much I love teaching this class. They are not a bunch of "smart kids", not a bunch of "delinquents" not a bunch of anything - just kids, trying to learn and not fail. Today we were talking about endangered and protected species within Trinidad and Tobago and they had to role play. Poachers, game wardens, endangered animal. What bacchanal! lol

It is amazing to see how they learn to value things differently when they get an opportunity to gaze from a different perspective. It is just a beautiful thing to see. Me? Sit down and call out notes right through? Never. And miss this? Never.

2010 People. Let's go!

2010 - Let's Go!

Well another beautiful year has started and thankfully we get two extra days to prepare for our students.

I have lots of plans for this year and I am praying and hoping that they all come true.

MEd? Maybe

Completing DipEd? DEFINITELY.

When I tell you experiencing this Postgraduate Diploma in Education may well be more difficult than the 3 years I spent doing my BSc! Is real wuk we...steups.

So I am off - new year, new things, new knowledge. Let's Go!

MPD

Since I began my career as a teacher I have realized that I may have developed multiple personality disorder (MPD). Professional MPD if you may, and I am contemplating whether or not the school and Ministry of Education will compensate for psychiatric help.
I step into my Form class and immediately had to assume the role of "mother hen".
"Are you sick?"
"Did you have breakfast?"
"Why didn't you hand in your Food and Nutrition assignment?"
"Explain to me why you were rude to Ms. Singh..."
The bell goes. New hat. Warden.
"Get to class!"
"Please see me after class!"
"Explain to me, and take your time, why you did not complete my assignment."
The bell goes. New hat. Counselor
"Don't cry. Everything will be okay. Please, don't cry."
"I understand your problem, but you have to learn to rise above it."
"Please.Don't cry."
The bell goes. New hat. Investigator/Police woman.
"Where did you get that?"
"Why were you in the town at that hour in school uniform?"
The bell goes. New hat. Confidant and friend.
"I understand."
"Think about the choices you make. They are important."
"No I will not add you on facebook."
"Gaza or wha?"

All this, and it wasn't even time for lunch. My training I do not think adequately equips me fully take on all these roles - hence the dilemma and inevitable personality switches. I beleive that 9 out of 10 teachers would corroborate this, as I think it may be spreading at an alarming rate throughout staff rooms- giving even H1N1 competition. The fact is as a teacher, it comes with the territory. It is not written in any document you may sign, but deep in the eyes of the students that need you. More and more you realize that the role of the teacher is vast and wide, deep and broad and if you are not prepared for it - it can get overwhelming. True teachers have to be so many things to so many students. We cannot afford, when we put on these hats to fail them. Slowly, as I wear the hats more regularly, they fit a bit better, though unfamiliar. Can we afford to sit and say, "I wasn't trained for that. I was trained to teach." I am in no way implying that any teacher attempts to deal with any situation above and beyond their capability, but when faced with the questioning eyes do you ignore them?

So what about this vastly deteriorating mental condition? Well...put on your hat and go to class.