MPD

Since I began my career as a teacher I have realized that I may have developed multiple personality disorder (MPD). Professional MPD if you may, and I am contemplating whether or not the school and Ministry of Education will compensate for psychiatric help.
I step into my Form class and immediately had to assume the role of "mother hen".
"Are you sick?"
"Did you have breakfast?"
"Why didn't you hand in your Food and Nutrition assignment?"
"Explain to me why you were rude to Ms. Singh..."
The bell goes. New hat. Warden.
"Get to class!"
"Please see me after class!"
"Explain to me, and take your time, why you did not complete my assignment."
The bell goes. New hat. Counselor
"Don't cry. Everything will be okay. Please, don't cry."
"I understand your problem, but you have to learn to rise above it."
"Please.Don't cry."
The bell goes. New hat. Investigator/Police woman.
"Where did you get that?"
"Why were you in the town at that hour in school uniform?"
The bell goes. New hat. Confidant and friend.
"I understand."
"Think about the choices you make. They are important."
"No I will not add you on facebook."
"Gaza or wha?"

All this, and it wasn't even time for lunch. My training I do not think adequately equips me fully take on all these roles - hence the dilemma and inevitable personality switches. I beleive that 9 out of 10 teachers would corroborate this, as I think it may be spreading at an alarming rate throughout staff rooms- giving even H1N1 competition. The fact is as a teacher, it comes with the territory. It is not written in any document you may sign, but deep in the eyes of the students that need you. More and more you realize that the role of the teacher is vast and wide, deep and broad and if you are not prepared for it - it can get overwhelming. True teachers have to be so many things to so many students. We cannot afford, when we put on these hats to fail them. Slowly, as I wear the hats more regularly, they fit a bit better, though unfamiliar. Can we afford to sit and say, "I wasn't trained for that. I was trained to teach." I am in no way implying that any teacher attempts to deal with any situation above and beyond their capability, but when faced with the questioning eyes do you ignore them?

So what about this vastly deteriorating mental condition? Well...put on your hat and go to class.

Counting Down...

I am slowly counting down the days till the term ends. I know when people hear teachers saying "Gosh I cyar wait for school to close" they be thinking that we are slackers or don't like children or our jobs - and well for some percentage of Trinidadian teachers this may be the case - but not for me and many others.

Teaching is a very mentally and emotionally taxing job. Plan lessons, plan assessments, plan field trips, plan school functions, solve problems [home problems, clothes problems, form class problems etc.], plan lives. I wonder sometimes how can I even attempt to fit in a husband and children into that mix. Maybe I tire easily - but all I know is that I damn tired! lol

If not for love of the art and science of teaching, I would certainly become very agitated and irritated by the students around now. No project done would be good enough, no answer right enough, nothing good enough.

I am learning slowly to accept the 'imperfections' I come with. I cannot be on every committee, I cannot solve every student's problem and I certainly cannot protect them from life. I have become quite attached to the students I teach. The contrasts to when I started - I felt for some reason that I should not be close to them - i should not love them. Well I do - so THERE. As a child, my younger sister died in a car accident. Lots of our teachers attended the funeral, one of them was inconsolable, as she cried at my sister's graveside. I think back now to this and wonder how I would feel if one of my students died, or was seriously injured - just the thought....

I am counting down the time till my mind could be distracted with other things, and I can relieve my mind of the various issues that we as teachers are faced with. I see our students as gift wrapped packages sent to us sparkling and new in Form 1 - but as you remove the wrapping, u see that some of the boxes contain broken toys...unpainted faces...missing limbs....sigh. You stand with it and wonder...I was never taught mechanics.