In Full Flight

Today my class graduated.

My first Form 4- Form 5 Biology class.

My first teaching experience class.

Not an inherited class.

My class.

As I saw them smiling in their seats I wondered whether I gave them everything they needed to go out and do well.

Did I give enough advice?

Enough guidance?

Sigh...I couldn't help but feel this sense of apprehension.

So innocent. So much they did not yet know.

Before the sadness could fully envelope me, I started receiving some "notes" and words of comfort

" i just wanted to say that you are a wonderful teacher and thanks for teaching me. its so great that you instilled very valuable information in me that i can use very wisely today. i hope you have alot of fun with the new upper sixes as you did with us."

"Thanks Miss"

"Miss you could add me on FB now! I graduate! Love you Miss!"

Well...you get the idea. So I hold on to the hope that their paths though not perfect, will be filled with experiences that allow them to learn and thrive...fly...

Sacrifice

Sometimes as a teacher, you have to be the "bad guy".

You have to hold your students accountable for their actions and call them to task on their shortcomings. Frankly, it sucks. Ultimately we know that the action is for "their own good" and will help them out "in the long run" - but sometimes the cliches appended to the actions do not make you feel any better.

This week I had to pull one of my students out of the football team. After missing several classes, not doing assignments, the unspoken rule perhaps at our school is, if you cannot balance the both, academia must prevail. It was even easier to do this when the coach said "well he doh really play". Still...after all was said and done - it sucked.

Another sucky thing was I had to call in my Form 5s for a lunch time session, because of all the Friday holidays in this term. They came - but complained. I couldn't understand why they couldn't see that the very sacrifice they were making I had to do the same. Sigh...I understand the term "teacher burnout" now, even though I am not experiencing it myself, because I can see how after years and years of sometimes forcing children to do things that benefit them can take its toll.

I hope and pray that I always have the stamina to sacrifice and give the extra that our children deserve. When I cannot...I will resign.

“We, the unwilling,led by the unknowing,are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much, for so long,with so little,we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.”

Smiles on Rainy Days.

This post is dedicated to my students that make me smile. Particularly my Form 5 Biology Class. It is one thing to love your job and what you do, to give and give and give...but sometimes when the cup runs a little low it can be difficult to find a refill.

Last Monday I went to class, drained, tired, sick and generally not in a good mood. I always try not to let my emotional state affect what I give to my students, but that day I was really running on "E" the tank was empty, and I had no choice but to deliver to my class of 41 students. I said to the first student attempting to frustrate me:

"Look! This is NOT a democracy. It is a dictatorship. I am Fidel. This is Cuba. I make the rules."

To which the child replied: "Miss we will do like animal farm and have ah revolution"

"Well until the uprising...sit down."

As the class progressed I knew that my students knew I was not too well - even without me telling them that. They used the chance to work diligently at the activity - to throw in a joke here and there - that had me in stitches! I left that class, still sick, but feeling SOOOOOO much better. I told them, "You all know that you are real special right?"

On my rainy day, those students were my sunshine and I don't think they will really ever know how much it meant to me to receive from them.

Results. Exams. Suicides. Regrets.

Well some of the students I teach received their exam results today.

As is always the case, some did well, some did not.

I am sad though, because I want them all to succeed so badly.

I wish I could be in the room with them as they sit the exam...but alas I cannot

I have to pray and hope that my teaching and their studying was enough to satisfy the unfair exams that do not truly test our students on what they have learnt, but rather the art of regurgitation....

I heard in a news report today also that a student after receiving her results committed suicide. Went to school. Collected results. Shared it with her parents. Went into her room. Later that night. Took a sheet and hung herself. I can only imagine how she felt, the deep disappointment that would push her to this point....I can only imagine how her parents now feel. The regret. What could they have said, or not said to avoid this situation from happening?

I insist that if there is teaching - there must be learning. Results must reflect hard work and persistence on the parts of the teachers and the students. I understand that we cannot hold our students hand all the time but surely something more can be done....

Turnover

Well I am approaching my 2nd anniversary. I feel as if so much more time has past than just these two years. I have come into contact with hundreds of students...so many lives that now have something to say about "Miss..."

Vacation is here and I miss school actually. Miss my passion. I think I am a workaholic. lol. Is it weird for a teacher to say that? I think so. I am looking forward to the new year. New faces. new challenges.

Till then.

Finally!

Wow...it's been such a long time since I've written!!

First things first. I have completed (and passed Thank You Jesus) my Postgraduate Diploma in Education. Who say BIGGGGGG Teacher!!!! Yeah me! I am very proud of this accomplishment and I DARE anyone to do this programme. lol. It was INTENSE. Worth it? Definitely.

What's next?
Applied to do my Masters in Education. I know...I am such a nerd. lol. However, I am looking unto the horizon - when I will need new challenges. And since I ain't got no kids yet, I figure its as good a time as any.

What's new?
My first Biology class that I had (Form 4, Form 5) is leaving! **tear tear...** I have learnt so much from them and I hope they can say the same thing. They were my testing ground. They allowed my such freedom to carry them on this two year journey. For this - I certainly thank them.

I am looking forward to teaching All boy classes - it should DEFINITELY be an adventure. Since the DipEd is done I am back on the grind. Will be back blogging. Learning, teaching and living.

Student and friend?

I have gotten pretty close to the students of my Form 5 class. I mean it is indeed a pleasure to know what they like, what they enjoy, what makes them upset - it pays to KNOW your student.

I have come to a strange point in the road. One of my students wants to add me as their FB friend. I created a "child friendly" account, that I gave them access to, but I have the REAL one under wraps basically. So one of my students from this very class asked to be my friend. Honestly I am unsure as to what to do. How much do you share with students? I use FB on many occasions to release stress and my various notes and statuses reflect that. Some things I do not necessarily want students to see. I think of it sometimes as a private space - separate and apart from work.

But is wanting that being hypocritical? Am I seeking to be more than one person at a time? Hmmmm...I think the schizophrenia is acting up again :/

I do love them. I do respect them. But ultimately I don't think that I want them to be a part of every aspect of my life. That might lead to madness. lol

2010 people! Let's go!

Teaching For Life

I thought today as I taught my Form 3 Biology class that students learn more about us and life skills than they sometimes do the subject.

Walk into class
"Miss, ah fine yuh looking very swanky for the 2010"
"Yuh fine?"
Class :"YES!"
"All for u darlings!"

lol You would be amazed to know just how much I love teaching this class. They are not a bunch of "smart kids", not a bunch of "delinquents" not a bunch of anything - just kids, trying to learn and not fail. Today we were talking about endangered and protected species within Trinidad and Tobago and they had to role play. Poachers, game wardens, endangered animal. What bacchanal! lol

It is amazing to see how they learn to value things differently when they get an opportunity to gaze from a different perspective. It is just a beautiful thing to see. Me? Sit down and call out notes right through? Never. And miss this? Never.

2010 People. Let's go!

2010 - Let's Go!

Well another beautiful year has started and thankfully we get two extra days to prepare for our students.

I have lots of plans for this year and I am praying and hoping that they all come true.

MEd? Maybe

Completing DipEd? DEFINITELY.

When I tell you experiencing this Postgraduate Diploma in Education may well be more difficult than the 3 years I spent doing my BSc! Is real wuk we...steups.

So I am off - new year, new things, new knowledge. Let's Go!