Counting Down...

I am slowly counting down the days till the term ends. I know when people hear teachers saying "Gosh I cyar wait for school to close" they be thinking that we are slackers or don't like children or our jobs - and well for some percentage of Trinidadian teachers this may be the case - but not for me and many others.

Teaching is a very mentally and emotionally taxing job. Plan lessons, plan assessments, plan field trips, plan school functions, solve problems [home problems, clothes problems, form class problems etc.], plan lives. I wonder sometimes how can I even attempt to fit in a husband and children into that mix. Maybe I tire easily - but all I know is that I damn tired! lol

If not for love of the art and science of teaching, I would certainly become very agitated and irritated by the students around now. No project done would be good enough, no answer right enough, nothing good enough.

I am learning slowly to accept the 'imperfections' I come with. I cannot be on every committee, I cannot solve every student's problem and I certainly cannot protect them from life. I have become quite attached to the students I teach. The contrasts to when I started - I felt for some reason that I should not be close to them - i should not love them. Well I do - so THERE. As a child, my younger sister died in a car accident. Lots of our teachers attended the funeral, one of them was inconsolable, as she cried at my sister's graveside. I think back now to this and wonder how I would feel if one of my students died, or was seriously injured - just the thought....

I am counting down the time till my mind could be distracted with other things, and I can relieve my mind of the various issues that we as teachers are faced with. I see our students as gift wrapped packages sent to us sparkling and new in Form 1 - but as you remove the wrapping, u see that some of the boxes contain broken toys...unpainted faces...missing limbs....sigh. You stand with it and wonder...I was never taught mechanics.